Life is hard enough and fast enough || An interview with Misha Mullov-Abbado
Hello!
I’m slowly recovering my equilibrium after a semi-humbling email experience.
I started out - and I’ll not be criticised for this - by writing ‘Hello!’ We’re all on the same page here: it’s a famously jovial, normal way of starting an email. It’s how this one started, and you were all fine with it!
But now misfortune creeps in.
I can’t entirely account for what happened next, but this is my best guess: my phone screen was a little stickier than would be ideal - probably pawed at by a yoghurt-y little hand one time too many. There was no visible gunk (so sorry for saying gunk just then) but it was lacking that glassy-smoothness necessary, I now realise, for operating a touch-screen phone… without incident.
So I’ve typed ‘Hello!’ (As established: fine) and I’ve copied and pasted in the email address from another browser. At this moment I think my thumb created a light friction (?) on the slightly1 sticky screen, and the result? My phone took on a brief but powerful life of its own. Mere milliseconds was all it took for this newly sentient device to make a much-dreaded autocorrect:
‘Hello!’ became ‘Help!’
And then my phone simply - sent the email.
Subject heading: blank
Help!
End of email.
A professional contact? Oh, certainly!
I followed up hastily with a semi-febrile message in which I tried to laugh it off, and make my sweaty little apologies. Was this the ideal way to begin a professional correspondence? No! To quote myself: Help!
But look, I’m a grown-up: I can cope with the embarrassment of loudly appealing for aid out of fucking nowhere, like a frightened cat exploding out of a back-alley trash can, terrifying a passing tourist. What actually bothered me was that follow-up email because, in making my apologies, I was reneging on a resolution I’d set myself. And to make matters worse, I’d made the resolution mere days before, so to renege as quickly as this? A further humbling!
The resolution was: no more apologies!
Sorry, but it’s something I really have to work on. In messages, specifically. Texts, emails - you know the sort. Unless there has been a true wrong-doing, I don’t want to make them, I don’t want to receive them!
Too many of my conversations these days are cluttered with apologies, both sent and received: for slow replies, for being out of touch, for not being available for this or that. ‘So sorry for my slow reply!’ We yelp in chorus. Which then of course demands the identikit absolution: ‘No worries!’
Yes worries, actually! (The Hakuna Matata lyric that weirdly never made the cut.) We’re all inundated with correspondence these days,2 spending as many hours as god gives us writing ‘I hope this email finds you well’ (when not opting for the simple ‘Help!’ of course) and I reject the premise that we can reply to every message both promptly and with due consideration. It can’t be done!
If, like me, you’re forever scrabbling to keep pace with the conveyor belt of your inbox, apologising might feel like an act of courtesy: a minor self-flagellation as a way of acknowledging the value of someone else’s time. But what would it look like if we just… stopped? Without the apologies batted back and forth, would our messages read as brusque and uncaring? Or - and this is my hope - could their absence be an implicit acknowledgment of the wild and numerous demands on everyone’s time? If we accept the likely facts that everyone is busy, and everyone is doing their best, then by ditching the courtesies, we might actually be doing each other a kindness.
Whenever I receive a message that begins with an apology, or indeed whenever I send a message that begins with an apology, I sigh and think - almost without fail - ‘Oh let us not be little bitches to one another.’ This is a line from one of my all time favourite poems - Having Already Walked Out on Everyone I Ever Said I Loved by Hera Lindsay Bird. She continues:
Oh let us not be little bitches to one another
Life is hard enough as it is
Life is hard enough and fast enough
And there is nothing in this world worth doing
But shaking our heads in awe
Life is hard enough and fast enough! Maybe I should start more of my messages with a simple nod towards that truth —
Help!
— And just leave it at that?
The Cameo
My guest this week is Misha Mullov-Abbado
What would you love for people to know about your work?
I am so lucky to have a job that involves music, which is my favourite part of life. I thrive off the constant juggling between different areas of music-making - performing in other people’s projects, playing jazz standards, writing music, recording myself for other people, recording other people for my own projects, and producing. Almost all my friends are people I have met through doing one or many of the above and I love that very much.
What might people be surprised to discover about your work?
It actually takes me a lot of effort to listen to and discover music that I don’t yet know, partly because I’m lazy and partly because I love re-listening to music I know really well. I find it really hard to find the motivation to practise improvising, so I secretly love having a technically challenging gig with specific repertoire to work towards.
Preferred tools of the trade? Essential work items?
A piano, manuscript paper, my laptop and headphones.
What’s your favourite thing about your job?
The fact that I get to make so much different music, and the wonderful people I know because of it.
Least favourite?
Even though I love the variety, the irregularity of my schedule means I struggle to get into a routine with sleep. Mornings are a struggle.
What do you do to get through days when you just don’t feel like it?
When I’m really busy with rehearsals, travelling, and gigs then I know I just have to push through, but I try and look ahead in my diary to make sure I can block off some time afterwards to rest and unwind.
Do you have a go-to treat to get you out of a slump?
Going for a walk. Being outdoors and moving almost always helps. As for treats, there are a number of distractions that will be like a quick escape for a bit (such as YouTube channels about trains that I follow) and as long as I don’t overdo it I tend to feel better afterwards.
Go-to work sustenance, meal, drink or snack-wise?
A fizzy drink like ginger cordial with sparkling water will hit the spot, and usually satisfies the itch of wanting a beer.
What’s been your favourite failure? One that you learnt a lot from, or one that you can look back and say ‘well I got through THAT, I’m unstoppable!’
I can think of a very difficult period which came from my failure to regulate how much work I take on. I had a patch when I felt very overwhelmed with how much music I was doing for other people, and I needed to learn to say no. I found saying no to people so hard, but I had to do it so that I could look after both my career and my mental health.
What’s one piece of advice you would give to someone who wants to do what you do?
Make sure you’re doing projects where you can be you. Since realising I needed to streamline my workload, I prioritise things that use my full skillset.
What’s the best piece of advice someone’s ever given you? (Or worst!)
When I was 20 I was playing with Paul Clarvis - a brilliant drummer that I now work with a lot - and he asked me whether I cared more about sounding good or making other people sound good. I still think about that - it’s so important for any musician (but especially jazz drummers or bassists) to think about how your playing is coming across in the bigger picture, instead of trying to show off or do something flashy to try and get people’s attention.
What are you evangelical about recommending to people?
This is a bit specific, but so many string players who do loads of gigs where they need to be amplified don’t own a DPA clip-on microphone, and they’re worth every penny. I always keep one in my bass case, and while for jazz often just the pickup on the bass is fine, having a mic gives so much more of an acoustic sound.
What’s your top tip for getting shit done?
Make a list, if possible by hand, of what you want to get done that day. Then enjoy the endorphin rush as you cross items off the list.
Which three songs or pieces of music should I listen to this week?
Ella Fitzgerald’s It’s Only A Paper Moon. I heard this a few years ago and can’t get enough of the backing male vocal singers that come in half way through.
Abel Selaocoe’s Ka Bohaleng. One of the grooviest pieces of music in 11 I know.
Danish String Quartet’s Ye Honest Bridal Couple - Sonderho Bridal Trilogy Part I. This opening track of their iconic album Wood Works is so heartwarming and touching, and enough to totally change my mood if I listen when I’m feeling down.
Misha has made a beautiful new album with singer-songwriter/violinist Alice Zawadzki and multi-instrumentalist Fred Thomas. It’s called Za Górami and it’s out this month with ECM Records!
I really love the trio’s description of their process making this album: ‘[…] striving to be both free and controlled, to tread softly and to summon the night.’
Je Suis Trop Jeunette is currently my favourite track, but then I listen again to Los Bilbilikos and how could I have been so bold to choose?
You can get tickets here for the album launch at Kings Place on November 23rd.
Oh my god I just found this video from when Misha and I were tiny babies and played in a band together! (With Rob Slater on trumpet, Merlin Sheldrake on accordion, Ben Pennington on trombone, Ed MacDonald on drums and Arjun Kingdon on violin. Arjun couldn’t make it the night this video was taken, and was heroically replaced at the very last minute by Eugene Feygelson.)3
We never did find out the name of this song, so we have forever called it ‘New Tune.’ Do you know what this song is called? Help us solve this mystery! Our WhatsApp group is divided to this day!
I sent this video to the gang yesterday, and we were all overcome with missing each other. The problem is (and it is a problem), the band includes two medical doctors, one biologist and author, one conservationist, one archaeologist and teacher, one mega-in-demand musician, and… me. As a result, the gods of scheduling are not on our side. Life!
A Poem
You Want a Social Life, with Friends
by Kenneth Koch
You want a social life, with friends.
A passionate love life and as well
To work hard every day. What’s true
Is of these three you may have two
And two can pay you dividends
But never may have three.
There isn’t time enough, my friends—
Though dawn begins, yet midnight ends—
To find the time to have love, work, and friends.
Michelangelo had feeling
For Vittoria and the Ceiling
But did he go to parties at day’s end?
Homer nightly went to banquets
Wrote all day but had no lockets
Bright with pictures of his Girl.
I know one who loves and parties
And has done so since his thirties
But writes hardly anything at all.
from Straits (Knopf, 1998)
Some Music
I promised to start making playlists on request, so here I am: making a playlist on request!
Sam has kicked things off, and beautifully: ‘I’d love some music for when I’m working at home. I want to feel calm and motivated and less scrunched up.’
What a perfect brief! Sam, for you: some music for working, and for unfurling.
You can find it on Spotify here.
Do you have a Playlist Theme Request? I’m all ears!
You can even use this handy button:
And that’s it!
Love,
Katya
You can find all my previous letters here.
I really can’t emphasise this enough. I’m not usually a mucky pup!
And anyone who knows me knows that I love to correspond. I love a WhatsApp group. I love to write a postcard. I have been ruthlessly mocked more times than feels fair (2 times) for being thrilled when my bulk order of stamps arrived. The godmothers of my children all sent them postcards from their summer holidays this year, and I was extremely moved! There was a postcard from the Brittany ferry, a telegram (!!!!) from a remote town in Australia, and an envelope containing freshly-picked eucalyptus leaves with instructions to crack the leaves and breathe in the scent. One card was a carefully illustrated description of all the foods they’d been eating, and the group of friends on the holiday had divvied up the illustrations according to who felt most confident drawing each item:
‘I will draw a prawn, and nothing else.’
‘I cannot draw a croissant, but I think a could do a tiny block of cheese.’
For the record, this is the sort of correspondence I’m after.
This video also features a guest appearance from my extraordinarily bad hairstyle at the time. I was growing out my shaved head, and hats were simply the only path available to me.